Five Dollars and a Dream

Several friends have been bugging me for awhile to start a blog to share in writing my misadventures and misgivings. Good dear Lord, help us all.

Today’s inaugural blog features the Jumer’s Casino and Hotel located in fabulous Rock Island, IL. On my way home from work each day I drive by this wonderful establishment and often think to myself that I am so fortunate for this den of sin to be within two minutes of my home. My friend S and I ventured here several times previous, but I decided to brave up and take this one on my own in a spontaneous bit I call “Five dollars and a dream.”

Let this be said that I was listening to Beck’s “Loser” as I drove up to the circular neon habitat and waltzed by some pathetic looking usuals outside loitering/aka/taking up space. This musical sign should have clued me in for what was about to happen. I walk up, present my ID, which the guy has to smear with his thumb several times to get it to scan or whatever casinos do to ensure that I am not cheating the system via a fake ID. What a load. When I was in Vegas, I happen to be with my friend’s brother who gambled and drank every night away without getting carding….EVER. Guess Jumer’s really needs to monitor these things, whereas nobody gives a shit in Nevada.

I am in the casino now, with my five dollars and I scope the place for the best slot, like that exists. I find a cozy 25₵ machine and blow 2 bucks in what felt like 2 seconds. I am dumb. I then find a penny slot and waste away my last 3 bucks that I have on my ticket stub, only to be sandwiched in by the Axe twins within a two minute gap. Yuck. The patheticism is palpable this evening and I am right smack in the middle of it, marinating. I suddenly realize that my adventure was not going to end up with me ahead financially, as it never does, so I walk out and get back in my car. Last thoughts….why are the neon lights so dazzling? Why did I just throw away five dollars? Why does cheese normally smell good, but if it’s associated with my car, it smells bad?