So I'm taking human sexuality for my masters and my mom asked me if there was a research practicum. I said I'd be doing my own statistics.

John Tesh Vs. Delilah

Okay,
so here is the deal. I can't stand either one of these talk show hosts. John Tesh with his words of wisdom, his "intelligence for your life" mentality. Dear God what next. But then there is Delilah. What a fucktard she is. Somebody calls in all teary eyed and crying and is like Delilah, my left arm is broken, I can't masturbate, will you please play "When You Love Somebody" to help me ease the pain. I mean Ryan Seacrest ain't exactly my cup of tea either, but at least he plays some music hits. Oh what am I saying, he's a tool too. Why do these people have jobs on the air.

Sincerely,
Janelle USA

Vern on Hilary Swank

So my dad Verno is obsessed with The Next Karate Kid. I have no idea why. Everytime it comes onto the TV he stops immediately in his tracks and starts to watch it.  Well, recently he sat down at dinner and we were having a peaceful meal and in the depths on silence he just blurts out, "You know, that Hilary Swank is kinda homely, but that's what makes her beautiful." My mom, sister and I just looked at him.  So I was like, so you think she's pretty and he said not all that much, there's just something about that one. Well, I informed him that she has two best actress Academy Awards and he said he knew that she one an award for Million Dollar Baby, followed by saying she kinda looked like hell in it.  "But she's a little fighter," he said. Ah, my dad's crush. I asked him if he had seen Boys Don't Cry and he said no and I further encouraged him not to see it for it would ruin his ever so perfect image of his homely beauty in her award winning role as a man (he can't handle such changes, he's an old timer stuck in his ways unfortunately. But here's our family hat off to Hilary Swank and he awesome karate kick style. Watch out for the fan mail Hilary, it's coming from Verno!